At first I was worried about what I was going to write today. I had been worried that I had touched over everything I could, but then I was saved during concert band. Several days ago I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed and the stiches were still in my gums. I figured that I would be able to not play in band and have the other oboe player in my section take over, just until I was healed a bit more. Silly me!
As I sat there, pressing the buttons on my oboe to the music without actually playing, I was horrified to hear that it sounded as if the other oboe player had never practiced! I will be the first to admit that I am a proud person, and I hate it when my section in band is not up to par. As I sat and listened to the poor playing, I began to feel as if it were my fault that my section was not playing as well as it should. Inside I knew that it was not my fault that my section was so poor, but I still took out my reed and began to play.
As I type this, my gums ache and I can taste blood. I feel angered at myself for allowing my section to become so subpar and for allowing myself to damage my chances at a faster recovery by jumping in to save my section’s sound.
I feel that one should never feel this way. But a few years ago I had a golf match that I was to attend but had already made a prior family engagement. I felt as if I was letting my team down, but I also knew that they would get along fine without me.
ReplyDeleteI understand this, I visited ACV for a game this year, they did pretty well for the game. There were some times though that I knew if I was playing that they would have done better and that somethings would not have happened to the team during that game.
ReplyDeleteI'm guilty of trying to make everything perfect and please everyone. The truth is I'll never be able to please everyone. Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself before others..
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